Yep. I had writers' block again. I'm really great at this, aren't I? So, I thought I'd go to Bing instead of Google this time and see the difference. (In case you want to look at my original post for comparison, click here.) A: Why is a?One was already taken. B: Why is black?BECAUSE IT IS. STOP ASKING ME QUESTIONS THAT MAKE ME CONTEMPLATE THE UNIVERSE DEEPLY. WHY DOES SPIDER-MAN EVEN USE YOU. C: Why is cheating?What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. (And should probably try again, since you're asking horrible questions that don't even make much sense.) D: Why is DNA?Because genetics. Also, deoxyribonucleic acid. E: Why is everything?Life is a constant cycle of failing, going home to cry, getting up afterward, and eventually succeeding. Without everything, there can be no something, and there can be no you. F: Why is Facebook?Mark wanted money so he could Zuckersplurge. G: Why is God?Because science. H: Why is Halloween?My guess is, some dude had too much candy, so he gave it out to a bunch of children who were wearing costumes, and then a ghost showed up, and then that just became a regular thing in that village. I: Why is it important?YOU FINALLY GIVE ME AN ACTUAL QUESTION AND IT'S THE VAGUEST THING YOU COULD POSSIBLY ASK. I'LL TELL YOU WHAT'S IMPORTANT: SOCIETY'S NEED FOR YOU TO JUMP OFF A CLIFF. Also, it's important because society said so, and at this stage, the only way to escape society is a nuclear apocalypse, during which you will likely die. Have fun. J: Why is Jesus?Because a woman got pregnant without actually doing the do. K: Why is knowledge?Knowledge is power! Also, apparently you have no knowledge, because you're like that six-year-old who wants to know why everything does everything. Except the kid is genuinely stupid. L: Why is life?I'll get back to you on that once I figure out how to get out of my looming existential crisis. M: Why is my?*throws laptop at wall* N: Why is Netflix?Because Reed Hastings and Marc Randolph were smart enough to figure out exactly what would addict America. O: Why is Obama?Mr. Obama and Mrs. Obama loved each other very, very much. P: Why is pink?Red and white. Q: Why is quinoa?*whispers* Could someone please tell me what quinoa is? R: Why is red?BECAUSE PRIMARY COLORS. S: Why in Spanish?Por que ARE YOU BEING SO STUPID, BING??? (Apologies to all Spanish-speaking people if I messed up the grammar. Which I probably did.) T: Why is the sky blue?Aaaaaand I don't know the answer to this question. It's something about how the only color our eyes perceive in that spectrum of light is blue, so it appears to us as blue when it's really all the colors. U: Why is ugly?Without ugly, there can be no beauty. Keep in mind that often people called "ugly" are some of the most intriguing people you will ever meet. V: Why is voting important?There is no way Jill Stein is going to win, which makes me sad. Luckily, there's no way Gary Johnson will win, either, so basically you're deciding who you think might let you survive a little longer. Pick your poison. W: Why is water?Two parts hydrogen, one part oxygen, H-2-O! X: Why is Xbox?Because life. Y: Why is YouTube?People have got to share their weirdness somehow. Z: Why is zoomed in?Because you couldn't see.
Well, that was much more difficult than next week. See you guys next week. - The Writer WARNING: This post will be discuss the spoilers revealed at the "Miraculous Ladybug" panel at New York Comic Con. They are in regard to season two, (kind of) the webisodes, and the Christmas special. You have been warned. OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!WHO ELSE IS FREAKING PUMPED??? Could May please just happen already? For the sake of my sanity and all the other Miraculers'? PLEASE? Well, let's just dive in, shall we? Kwami Origin Story WebisodeThis news got buried beneath all the other news, but I'm really excited for it. I've been thinking about this a lot. Are the kwamis aliens, and the Miraculous are artifacts from their world? (It's a lot less crazier it sounds.) Did the kwamis create the Miraculous? Was this some weird combination of kwami magic and humans? (I actually have a whole theory about why the Miraculous were created, but that's probably its own separate post.) Mrs. Agreste and Mrs. Bourgeois Info Coming In Christmas EpisodeI've speculated about Mrs. Agreste for so long, I'm all out of theories about her, so I'm going to talk about Mrs. Bourgeois. She probably has something to do with Chloé's change of heart that will inevitably happen because (see later in this post). Also, something was pointed out to me the other day: the Agrestes and the Bourgeois' are supposed to know each other (Adrien and Chloé were supposed to be friends, so we know it's on a semi-personal level), but we never see Gabriel and Mr. Bourgeois have a conversation. What if it was the mothers who were friends? Think about it... Chloé's parents could be divorced or something similar, but I honestly think that Mrs. Bourgeois has passed away. Don't ask me why. Just a hunch. Style QueenStyle Queen looks AWESOME. Like magical girl Bellatrix Lestrange. (Does that sentence even make sense?) But...what are her powers? She has a scepter that's glowing at the end, and she was, like, dissolving, but...what? Who is this woman? Also, the name kind of bugs me. It makes me think of Stella from "Winx Club," and that's not the image I want when I think of a "Miraculous Ladybug" villain. But Stella aside...why is she the queen of style? Is that a power of hers? Why is that even relevant? I mean, she does look like a fabulous cartoon warrior woman, but why is that a factor in naming her? Oh, and also, WHO IS SHE? Does she have a Miraculous? We can't really see her that well, so she could, potentially. Is she a one-shot akumatized villain, or is she going to be a recurring character? So many questions, Zagtoon... The CollectorThis guy looks like Bomb Voyage from "The Incredibles" mixed with every Danny Phantom villain ever. That's not really a bad thing, but it was my reaction, and that's what I'm writing. (Side note: I'm calling the Collector a "he," but I just noticed what appears to be high heels on "his" feet, so...) The Collector appears to have magic orbs that are presumably used to collect things. What is he collecting? Who is this guy? Recurring or one-shot? Miraculous or akuma? WHO IS HE? I read from someone on Twitter that, what with the shape of the hair and the suit, he could be Gabriel. Interesting... Le PaonBecause Duusu is in the picture, we know that this woman (I'm pretty sure) is the holder of the Peacock Miraculous. The last we saw of the peacock was in Gabriel's safe (although, to be fair, I have heard theories that the one in the safe is a fake, but let's assume this isn't true). The only people we know for sure know about the safe are Adrien, Gabriel, and Plagg. If the Miraculous in the safe isn't a fake, then Le Paon must be someone close to the Agrestes. Basically, Le Paon is either Mrs. Agreste or Mrs. Bourgeois, or we're going to learn some new magic stuff that hasn't happened in the show yet and I'm going to be completely wrong. Only Hawkdaddy knows for sure. It hasn't been officially confirmed, but Le Paon looks like a villain to me. What type of villain? I don't know, but I'm sure she could give Hawk Moth a run for his money. Then again, she could be like Daphne from "Winx Club" or Dumbledore from "Harry Potter" - a helpful, frustratingly cryptic guide. I don't know, and you don't either. (Unless you work for Zag and have been briefed on the plot, in which case you definitely know, but don't tell me, cause I wanna find out when it happens.) We'll just have to wait and see... Duusu, Trixx, and the Bee KwamiJudging from the wide variety of facial expressions, I think Duusu is going to be quite a character. I don't have that many assumptions on her, so...NEXT! Trixx looks helpful and inquisitive - perfect for a budding journalist. I think she'll be like Tikki, but with a little more of an edge. I literally cannot wait to see rendered images of this thing. We didn't see any new pictures of the bee kwami, or learn its name. For right now, I'm calling it Buzzet. I just like that name. She'll be part of Chloé's redemption arc, serving as her mentor and motivational coach, sort of. Alya as VolpinaFrankly. I'd much rather have her than Lila, and I would tell you exactly why, but instead of dwelling on Volpinas (Volpinae?) of the past, I want to focus on what might happen in the future. Every single character who has been given a Miraculous has had a major personality shift between their normal selves and their super-selves. (We don't know who Hawk Moth actually is, but I think we can assume he doesn't go around saying "Fly away, my little akuma" in his regular life.) However, so far it has made the characters more bolder. I'm thinking Alya may actually do the opposite. She has been idolizing these two for a whole season (however time passes in this universe), and she was just given superpowers, and now she's supposed to work with them and contribute thoughts and just generally be an awesome superhero with these people who have been doing it for way longer than she has. Wouldn't you stay quiet, too? I don't mean she'll become a wimp or something like that. With all respect to flute players everywhere, Alya will be like her instrument: quiet, but deadly. (Okay, so flutes aren't exactly deadly, but the word I want to use goes against my no-swear-word policy.) Also, can't you just imagine Volpina seeing how Cat Noir looks at Ladybug and it reminds her of how Marinette looks at Adrien and she realizes that Cat Noir likes Ladybug so she then uses all of her willpower to be the very best wingman (winggirl? wingwoman?) like no one ever was? (*drums pounding out of nowhere* DUH DUUUH DUH) Quite possibly the most interesting thought I had is that we might get to see Alya's home life. We know her mom is a chef at the hotel and that she has younger siblings that she babysits. To me, that kind of suggests that Alya's dad is gone, but I could be completely off base and the only reason there has been no mention of a Mr. Cesaire is because it hasn't been important to the plot so far. Another interesting thought: DJ WIFI IS GOING TO GET MORE COMPLEX. I would love the thought of Nino playing damsel-in-distress for Volpina a few times, but I don't want it to become a recurring bit. Instead, I'm interested in Nino being the adorable person that can only be the best friend of our mischievous sunshine child. Nino being genuinely concerned when there are giant crowds running for their life and he can't find Alya in it, for example. Nino driving the other superheroes crazy because they can't find Alya, and then Volpina making up a lie and everyone else groaning because they just wasted their time. Nino noticing that Alya has a rather interesting necklace. Nino swearing he can see a flash of orange fur one day. SPEAKING OF PEOPLE NOTICING THINGS... In one of the webisodes on the YouTube channel, Marinette says that Alya is the most observant person she knows. Frankly, it's truly miraculous that no one, not to mention Alya, has figured out what's going on with these two yet, but now that Alya knows what it's like to be a Miraculous holder, I don't think it would be that hard for her to figure out Marinette's Adrien's, or Chloé's secret. However, I don't think she'd be actively trying to figure out Ladybug's identity purely out of respect for her. If she figured it out, it would be accidental, and I don't think she'd post it on the Ladyblog. Speaking of the Ladyblog, I feel like it's quality of reporting is going to go down. Have you ever been exhausted and then try to retell a story? Spoiler alert: IT'S HARD. In addition, unless she pulls a Spider-Man and tapes her phone to her costume, she won't be able to give on-the-spot reporting. So, I would be very surprised if Alya managed to keep the Ladyblog running as strong as it previously was. Chloé as Queen BeeWell, there's obviously going to be a redemption arc somewhere. I believe in character development as long as it is done the correct way, and I trust the wonderful people of Zag (as well as Selah Victor) to deliver the story correctly. Since we're getting information about Chloé's mom in the Christmas special, I think the redemption arc is definitely going to have something to do with her parents. Part of doing character development the right way is TIME. T-I-M-E. Depending on what Chloé's going through, I'm thinking she shouldn't receive the Miraculous until episode 7-10 ish. I'm having trouble pinning down what Chloé's personality will be like as Queen Bee. I like the idea of her being a mixture of Ladybug and Cat Noir: serious in some moments, punny in others. She has ideas (actually some really good ones), but she idolizes Ladybug, so she usually just goes with what she says and doesn't fight it. With what I said about Volpina earlier, could these two please be my brOTP? I love the idea of their personality contrast, and them bonding over their idolization of Ladybug. They could even be wingwomen together. (Side note: Cat Noir gets along with these two fine. I think season two is when Ladybug is going to realize she likes him, so she might find herself getting jealous at Queen Bee and Volpina for no reason and apologizing for it. Otherwise, she's fine with them too.) As for her real life: who even knows with Chloé? It all depends on the redemption arc, so it better be a good one. Aaaaaaaand we're done!Any additional thoughts, Miraculers?
- The Writer I was going to write a post about how much homework I have and just general angst-y stuff, but I'm tired of writing that stuff, and I imagine you're tired of reading it. So, I'm just going to copy the SuperCarlinBrothers and play "Why is...Google Autofill." In case you're not familiar with the Google autofill game, it's very simple. I just go to Google, type in "why is," and then each letter of the alphabet. Google will complete the question, and I will answer it with 100 percent-ish accuracy. A: Why is added sugar unhealthy?It's artificial and doesn't occur naturally in nature, and when it comes to food, if it doesn't occur naturally in nature, it is basically guaranteed to be unhealthy. B: Why is "Bad Moms" rated R?I didn't even know there was a movie called "Bad Moms" until I wrote this post, but I think the title should pretty much say it all. C: Why is Chrome so slow?Because Google hates us all, and yet also wants to take over all our souls at the same time. D: Why is dairy bad for you?Cheese makes you constipated. That's all I've got. E: Why is everyone talking about clowns?HOW DARE YOU GIVE ME THIS QUESTION WHEN I LIVE IN THE MIDWEST. THE MIDWEST IS THE CENTER OF CLOWN FEVER RIGHT NOW. I AM GOING TO SAY THIS ONCE: CLOWNS. ARE. HORRIFYING. F: Why is "Finding Dory" rated PG?Spoiler alert: you are going to cry during it. I repeat: YOU ARE GOING TO CRY DURING IT. Oh yeah, plus a truck gets driven off a cliff (or something like that). G: Why is gold down today?Well, you see, Gold and Silver just went through a really bad breakup, and now Silver is dating Copper and literally will not shut up about it, plus Gold's parents all expect him to work at Fort Knox like all his relatives, but he just really wants to become a baker, and on top of all that, he sort of likes Lithium, but he's afraid that dating an Alkali will ruin his reputation with all the other Transitionals, AND Magnesium is being a total Snitch and keeps trolling him on Snapchat. Also, gravity. H: Why is Harambe a meme?BECAUSE HARAMBE IS GOD. I: Why is Iowa so humid?Because it's the fricking Midwest and humidity is our catchphrase. J: Why is James crying?James is dead. If anyone is crying, it's Remus. K: Why is Kristi Lee back?Because Kristi Lee is a Miraculous Ladybug fan and she felt like it was unfair of her to keep people on hiatus while that was happening simultaneously. L: Why is life so hard?I don't know about other countries, but America hates everyone who is not a straight cisgendered white Christian male, so that's a start. M: Why is my poop green?Better question: why are you asking Google instead of, I don't know, YOUR DOCTOR? N: Why is Nichols in Max?There are several ways I could answer this question and most of them are not five-year-old friendly, so we're just gonna skip it. O: Why is Obamacare bad?I honestly don't even know anymore. P: Why is Pepe a hate symbol?KKK-like hate groups see Pepe's smugness as a symbolism of what they stand for. Why? Dunno. I saw one Rachel Maddow report on it, so maybe I'm not the best person to ask. Q: Why is "Quantico" not on Hulu?Because, seriously, truck Hulu. R: Why is Russia bombing Syria?Putin. S: Why is science important?Without science, there would be no Google, so you would not be able to broadcast your stupidity across the internet. T: Why is the sky blue?I can't remember the exact answer, but it's something about how our eyes can't see certain colors and the dominant color that comes through is blue. U: Why is urine yellow?More water, less yellow. More any other liquid, more yellow. Best I've got for you. V: Why is Vitamin C important?I...honestly have no idea. Is this all just a conspiracy theory to get me to go outside once in a while? Or does science think that C is the most important letter in the alphabet because there are two of them in the word? But then again, there are two E's in science, and I honestly don't even know if Vitamin E is a thing! W: Why is water blue?Water is not blue. Water is clear. (Name the movie I'm trying to reference!) It's just more light-refracting stuff that I've forgotten at this point. X: Why is Xfinity so slow?The "in" part of the word is what made it so fast. Take it out and replace it with X, which is notorious for being slow, and you've basically screwed yourself over. Y: Why is YouTube not working?YouTube IS working. This was probably just a scam by Google to get me to visit YouTube to see if it worked, therefore giving them page views and generating them more cash flow. Dang it, Google! Z: Why is Zika dangerous?Males get fevers. Pregnant women have babies who have abnormally large heads.
To quote J Carlin: well, guys, that's all I have for you today, and I will see you in another life. |
AuthorI'm a girl. I'm in middle school. People say I'm smart. And that's just about it. Archives
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